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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27479692">The Cost of a Memory</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_the_king_of_the_ocean/pseuds/im_the_king_of_the_ocean'>im_the_king_of_the_ocean</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Magnus Archives (Podcast)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amnesia, M/M, Pining, Sacrifice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:01:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,035</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27479692</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_the_king_of_the_ocean/pseuds/im_the_king_of_the_ocean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jon and Martin successfully changed the world back from the apocalypse, but it took severing the connection between Jon and the Beholding, which erased all Jon’s memories of ever working at the Magnus Institute and, you know, Martin.</p><p>Now, Jon believes he's spent the years between 2011-2018 in a coma, although he can't quite shake the feeling that he's missing something crucial.</p><p>Martin tries to look out for Jon from afar, while also trying not to do anything that would bring back Jon’s memories, and thus the Beholding and the entire apocalypse.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>94</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Cost of a Memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I may continue this one.  We'll see how it goes.  Like I really, really did not set out to start yet another ongoing wip when I dived into writing for tma, but you've all been a great readership so far so yeah, I'm open to it?</p><p>idek this is a strong Maybe for it's continuation.</p><p>feel free to check out my tumblr <a href="https://im-the-king-of-the-ocean.tumblr.com/">im-the-king-of-the-ocean</a> for more ridiculous chaos</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Jon meanders over to the hotel bar, where he quietly orders a drink he has little intention of actually consuming.Such things tend to be the expected norm at these events.Jon doesn’t particularly want to stand out.He holds the glass he’s given in one hand, and turns to face the room.He observes the crowd carefully, although he is unsure what it is exactly he’s <em>looking </em>for.No one seems particularly unusual or noteworthy, just the general collection of academics and scholar-types who usually show up to conventions like the one he’s attending.Dreadfully dull, the lot of them.</p><p class="p1">At the same time, Jon can’t shake the thought that he’s supposed to be <em>looking </em>for something.Someone?He’s not sure.He’s keenly aware of the feeling that something’s <em>missing</em>.Something extraordinarily important.What it is, he can’t say.All he knows is that it’s <em>not </em>there and it’s <em>supposed </em>to be and that <em>bothers </em>him a great deal.</p><p class="p1">He shakes his head, sighs, places his untouched drink down on the bar, and decides to call it a night.There’s hardly a point in him being at a networking sort of event anyway.He has a perfectly good research position lined up at the Usher Foundation in America, which he’ll leave for in a matter of days.</p><p class="p1">Not that the Usher Foundation is Jon’s first choice of employer, but it’s a suitable enough one.Jon understands the Magnus Institute, who he’d much prefer to work for, is going through a bit of a struggle.After the disappearance, and later revealed death, of their former Head Archivist, Gertrude Robinson, the imprisonment, disappearance, and probable death of former Head, Elias Bouchard, and disappearance of his temporary replacement, Peter Lukas, it would be absurd to assume the Institute isn’t going through a troubling time.</p><p class="p1">However, considering all of that and the recent terrorist attack on their premises, Jon would have thought they’d be more open to fresh applicants, since it can’t be easy to draw in new staff considering.Not that he’s normally the type to use such tragic circumstances to his advantage, but, ever since he heard the name of the Magnus Institute on the news, Jon has felt a <em>pull</em> to it. </p><p class="p1">It strikes Jon as strange that he hasn’t applied for a job there in the past.The Magnus Institute is exactly the sort of place he could see himself at.And, despite having no recollection of it, he had the strongest feeling that he’s been there before too.It feels so very <em>familiar</em>. </p><p class="p1">So, Jon sent in his CV confident he’d be accepted for a position.Instead, he received a surprising letter from the new Head, Martin Blackwood, himself, politely stating that the Magnus Institute could not, under any circumstances, offer Jon employment at this time.However, Mr. Blackwood understands the uncertainty of Jon’s situation and has arranged a research position across the pond at the Usher Foundation for him.</p><p class="p1">It had been odd.Jon had been careful not to disclose his, well former now, <em>condition </em>to anyone he didn’t have to.He has no interest in prying questions in to what it’s like to be in a coma for seven years, or the pitying looks that come when people realize he’s missed out on such a significant chunk of life.Yet, Mr. Blackwood, who Jon is <em>sure </em>he’s never met before, addressed him with a casual familiarity unheard of in such letters and went out of his way to find a job for Jon, like he <em>knew </em>the details of Jon’s medical history and current issues with putting his life back together after such a long gap.</p><p class="p1">Jon accepted the position, of course.His financials aren’t in a state he could do much else.It bothers him, though.He wants to ask <em>why</em>.Why help <em>him</em>?What is he <em>missing</em>?</p><p class="p1">Jon shoves his hands in his pockets, and makes his way over to the lift.It hardly matters now.Soon, he’ll be in another country entirely.Far, far away from Martin Blackwood, and all the peculiar things he feels at the mention of that name.It will be good, perhaps, to get away for a while and clear his head.</p><p class="p1">At least that’s what he’s been telling himself.</p><p class="p1">Before the lift doors close behind Jon, someone else hurries in.A man with curly hair.He looks at Jon, and then quickly averts his gaze.Jon pays him no mind.All he cares about right now is going to his room and getting some sleep.</p><p class="p1">The man takes a sharp, quick breath, reaches forward, and hits the emergency switch.The lift screeches to a halt, jostling both men.</p><p class="p1">Jon stares at the man, confounded.“What did you do <em>that </em>for?”</p><p class="p1">“I, err, got nervous?Sorry!”Despite speaking an apology, the man, who now looks vaguely familiar to Jon, isn’t looking at him but his phone, as if intently waiting for something.“You know me, always messing stuff up,” the man continues with an awkward laugh.</p><p class="p1">“No.I <em>don’t </em>know you.”Jon grumbles.“I’ve never seen you before in my life.”And he hasn’t.Despite that odd feeling of familiarity again, he’s sure he’s never met whoever this is before.</p><p class="p1">The man stares at him, blinks.“Right, no, of course you haven’t.Sorry.”He gestures with his phone.“I’m on with, err, maintenance, and they should have everything sorted out soon.”</p><p class="p1">And they do.In a matter of minutes, the lift is moving again.They reach Jon’s floor and he’s more than relieved to get out.So relieved, in fact, he doesn’t notice the scorch marks on the hallway wall that indicate a fight of some kind recently took place there.One which he wouldn’t have been able to avoid if the lift hadn’t been stopped.</p><p class="p1">Deep into that night, Jon wakes with a start and wonders at the emptiness of the other side of his bed and why he doesn’t feel the man’s warm, comfortable embrace around him, protecting him.He puzzles over that, over the fact someone he knows he’s never known could, in theory, make him feel safe.</p><p class="p1">Jon doesn’t get any answers.He just continues to feel like something’s missing.</p>
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